Saturday, February 14, 2015

Being friends with an introvert

I found this on another site, and added some of my own little thoughts. :) 

1 – Coffee date vs dinner party

We like meaningful conversation but hate small talk. This means we’d much rather catch up one-on-one, than go out in a group. There are exceptions, of course — especially if we already know everyone else in the group.

I would definitely say this is me 100%. People always ask "Why don't you talk?" I'm sorry but unless I actually have something to say then I don't talk. I can't just bullshit with you. 

2 – Parties are fun. Sometimes.

We like it when you to invite us to parties. If we do come, we’ll probably enjoy ourselves, but we’re going to need serious decompressing time afterwards. However, it’s also quite likely we’ll opt to stay home; please don’t be offended!

For me it's almost always the latter. Remember being around so many small talk is something that happens, and I don't do well with that.

3 – How are you? No, really!

If we ask how you’re doing, we really want to know; we’re not just making conversation. Remember, we hate small talk so we don’t ask just for the sake of saying something.

True. If I ask how you are then I really want to know because I don't just go around asking. I may not be able to help you, or give advice but I'm great at listening.

4 – Voicemail rocks.

We probably won’t answer the phone when you call unless we’re expecting it. It doesn’t mean we don’t want to talk to you; we’re just not mentally prepared for a conversation and want to give you the attention you deserve when we do talk to you. {And pretty-please, leave a message that says more than “Call me.”}

Thank you! I'm not a phone talker. I  actually dread getting on the phone because I hate sitting there in silence, and holding the phone. So yeah once I have stuff to say then I'll call you back. 

5 – Drop-in visitors.

No matter how much we adore you, we might not like it if you drop by unannounced. It’s just because we like to plan ahead, to know what’s expected. Personally, I love entertaining — but only if I've had a chance to prepare. It’s for the same reasons as #4: if I’m not expecting you, my mind will be a thousand places at once, and that’s not fair to you as my friend.
If you have a genuine crisis, disregard numbers 4 and 5 above; we will drop everything to listen or help.

6 – Quiet? Ha!

People think introverts are quiet, but once you get us talking about something we care about deeply, we might not shut up. Consider yourself warned. ;)

Lol. This is true, and fits well with readers. We maybe quiet, but if you start talking to us about books or the likes of bookish things then get ready for your ear to be talked off. :)

7 – Conversations on repeat.

We will rehash every conversation we’ve ever had and beat ourselves up if we feel we may have said something foolish. Please let us know (nicely, if possible) if we’ve offended you so we can work it out before it festers.

8 – Give us time to think.

Whether it’s a dilemma you’d like input on, or something you’d like us to do, we need time to think. Most of us don’t do well coming up with things well on the fly, which is why we often write better than we talk.

Exactly I'm so much better at listening then giving advice. Also it's why for me if I want to confront someone texts are perfect. Yes, it sounds like the easy way out, but I'm not good with one on one confrontation.

9 – We can be silly.

Many of us have a silly side that few people ever see. Know that if you've seen this side of us, you must be very special indeed.

Very special is right. My goofy, dirty side only comes out to those I feel comfortable around. ;P

10 – Trust is to be treasured.

We rarely open up emotionally; we work hard to protect our inner selves. If we ever feel we can trust enough to be vulnerable with you, we will hold you to a high standard in regards to how you treat the private self we share with you.

I think this is very true, and sooo me. It takes me a long time to open up to someone, and when I do it's important for you to understand that I thought a lot about it.


  1. I have a lot of these in common with you. I'm so much better in small at-home situations with good friends. Parties always make me nervous and I'm not a very good guest. I tend to find something to occupy me instead of trying to make conversation with people I don't know.

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Happy Reading and Blogging, Ashley

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