Monday, February 27, 2012

Writing; On my poetry and other things

I haven't written any kind of poems/poetry lately because I guess I haven't been inspired. When I would write poems it was because my life felt like it was in a downward spiral, and it wasn't looking up. Now I realize that's probably a little dramatic, but my pre-teen/teenage years sucked. I'm not here to bore you with those stories. It's was just a little history. Those were probably some of my most depressing writings I'd ever done. I'm talking suicide, cutting, and a bunch of other things. I think I knew in the back of my mind that I wouldn't actually do anything, but it helped to write it out. If you've ever been depressed, or had that worthless feeling then maybe you know what I'm talking about. I don't know.

When I write it's something that's very, very personal to me. My poetry is an opening to my soul, it's an opening to how I perceive things. If it's something I'm afraid to say to someone, or out aloud I write it. It doesn't always make sense to me, but then again not everything has to I guess.

With that being said here's something I wrote last night.
It's not titled yet because I couldn't think of anything. Suggestions?

My heart is not an easy thing to open up
Trust, respect, and love
Those are things that are earned
and that's something you'll have to learn
It's a process for me,
It doesn't happen overnight
and if it's something you want
then just keep up the fight
Love me for who I am
the good times and the bad
there's time when I'll be happy 
and times when I'll be sad
and then those times in between
when nothing seems to go right
and all I wanna do is give up the fight
Those are the days I'll need you
to help me understand
That everything will be better
if we walk hand in hand.

I wrote this last night after I had this crying spell. I'm not sure what triggered it if anything. I have moments where everything is fine, and then the tears just come out. Not many people understand that if it happens I'll get over it. They think it's something they did, and feel horrible because last night coming back from a meeting at work, Ryan was bringing me home and something in me decided that I was unhappy or mad or whatever when i really wasn't. I tried so hard not to let it happen to keep it hidden until I got home and he wouldn't notice, but I failed. I think we stayed out in his car a good 20 minutes. I was like just go see your friends like you were going to, and I'll be fine.Trust me it's nothing you did and it'll go away. That so did not work, and I admit I love him for caring so much, knowing that he wants to make things better for me, and knowing that he would drop whatever to try and comfort me, but I guess I also don't want to be that girl that keeps him from being with his friends and living his life. I don't know. We sat in the apartment for at least and hour and a half  after that me crying pathetically and him with this look of I wish I could make it better ( at least that's what my thought was. It could have been what the hell have I gotten myself in too) Anyways, that's what inspired this poem I guess you could say. He's only ever seen the side of me thats happy, and not in that sad place that I sometimes fall into.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Follow Friday (60)

Q: Activity!!! Take a picture or describe where you love to read the most...

I can read just about anywhere really. My bed (which is the couch in the living room), the tub (It's relaxing what can I say), I've recently taking to sitting out on our balcony and sitting in my big round fluffy chair and reading. Like I said pretty much where ever I decide to sit and pull out a book. Just to show you my lovely "room" and the balcony here are some pictures.
This would be my lovely bed in front of the fire place. Yes, I'm sleeping in the living room.

This is outside on the balcony, and my big comfy chair. Sorry you can hardly see it.
I've a little bit of an absentee lately sorry about that. I'm going to try and do a little better come March.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

In my mailbox (48)

Wow, so I haven't done an IMM in almost 2 months. Which means I have a stack of books to show.

Unearthly by Cynthia Hand from Lilli
Wildefire by Karsten Knight

The Space Between by Brenna Yovanoff
Unraveling Isobel by Eileen Cook
Queen of the dead by Stacey Kade
Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma
The probability of miracles by Wendy Wunder
A beatiful dark by Jocelyn Davies
Liesl and Po by Lauren Oliver
Wrapped by Jennifer Brandbury
Never eighteen by Megan Bostic
In too deep by Amanda Grace
Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare
Witch Eyes by Scott Tracey
Miss peregrines home for peculiar children by Ransom Riggs
Switched by Amanda Hocking
Five flavors of dumb by Antony John
Vanish by Sophie Jordan
Twisted by Gena Showalter
Three Quarters Dead by Richard Peck
Bumped by Megan McCafferty
Fury by Elizabeth Miles
Cascade by Lisa T. Bergen
The Dark Devine by Bree Despain
The Magnolia League by Katie Crouch
The Demon Kind by Cinda Williams Chima

Mentioned but not shown:
The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin
Starters by Lissa Price
Bloodlines by Lindsey Ann Kendal

Not mentioned:
Half Blood by Jennifer Armentrout (I read this and my review will be up sometime)
Struck by Jennifer Bosworth (Netgalley)
Lies beneath by Anne Greenwood Brown (Netgalley)
Whisper by Alyson Noel (4th book in the riley bloom series-Netgalley)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentines Day!

Happy Valentines Day to all my awesome readers and everyone else. I hope everyone is having a good one if you celebrate it with that special someone, or even if you don't. :) I will say this normally I hate this day, but having someone to share it with this year (even though he's working tonight.) is an awesome feeling. I was happy just being able to spend part of the day today with him. I'm not the type that has to have a gift or what not, but he did get me something. He even picked out one that was black because I have this thing for the color black. He's like you know how hard it was to find a black watch? lol. Anyways, I think when he gets off later we'll probably go see a movie.

Sorry this wasn't the full reason I made this post. On facebook Author Bree Despain of The Dark Devine series said if we wanted a little treat to email her so I did and she sent back some virtual valentine day like cards. Thought I'd share them with everyone.

Now I haven't read the series yet, but I'm thinking I may need to now since I just recently got the first book.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Cover Reveal: Embers and Echoes by Karsten Knight

This is the second book in Karsten Knight's Wildefire trilogy. I  haven't read it yet, but I did get it as a RAK so I'll be reading it soon. Wanna know a little about this book well read on. This is the description from the authors blog.

Every flame casts a shadow.
Ashline Wilde is about to discover that when you’re the reincarnation of a Polynesian volcano goddess, “new beginnings” are just a myth.
Leaving the fiery ruins of her sophomore year behind her, Ash travels to the sizzling beaches of Miami, hot on the trail of the little sister she’s only seen in visions. But her happy family reunion isn’t all palm trees and paradise. A cult of evil gods-on-earth, known as the Four Seasons, has kidnapped her sister to use in its terrifying new religion. Soon, the streets of Miami erupt in chaos and violence…and Ash gets caught right in the tropical crossfire
Ash isn’t without help, however. Unexpected romance arrives in the form of Wes, an Aztec god of night with his own vendetta against the Four Seasons. As memories of Ash’s previous life begin to flicker into her dreams, the boundaries between ally and enemy, life and death, and love and hate all bleed together. And when a mysterious trickster from her past reappears to derail her new quest, Ash must choose between the echoes of a once-forgotten yesterday and the embers of an uncertain future.
Because when old flames return from the dead, even a volcano goddess can get burned.

WILDEFIRE comes out in paperback August 21, 2012.
EMBERS & ECHOES hits bookstores August 28,

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Waiting on Wed: Croak by Gena Damico

Croak by Gena Damico
Expected publication:
March 20th 2012 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Sixteen-year-old Lex Bartleby has sucker-punched her last classmate. Fed up with her punkish, wild behavior, her parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than that of shoveling manure.

He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach her the family business.

Lex quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated entirely by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next. Along with her infuriating yet intriguing partner Driggs and a rockstar crew of fellow Grim apprentices, Lex is soon zapping her Targets like a natural born Killer.

Grim reapers. I think that alone had me. It just reminded me of the show Dead like me which I loved watching to bad it's no longer on.

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